I can’t believe love is simply a matter of choice, ticking the checkboxes of compatibility.
In the olden times, when work colleagues used to sit together in a big open-plan office, my colleague and friend, Paula, was shocked to hear I began a relationship with my wife by asking her out on a date.
When I say asking, I mean face to face, not through a smartphone app.
Though it was more than a date I asked my future wife on; it was a holiday.
Paula, who was only 37 years old, found this an alien concept. She was more accustomed to smartphone apps and swiping right or left. (I had to google the difference between right and left).
I told Paula the story of when time stood still for me; when the earth and all the humming noise in the world around me, stopped.
After starting a new job in an adjacent department, I visited my ex-boss to tell her how I was getting on and about a recent trip to Edinburgh, Scotland.
My ex-boss remarked how much she loved Edinburgh and longed to go back. Without hesitation, I asked, “Why don’t we go back together”?
The office noise faded into the background, and as I stood by her desk, I experienced the oddest few seconds of my life. I felt as if a part of my life fell into place. It was like something broken became fixed at that moment.
I knew we connected. Something in the universe clicked.
She said yes and, I said, “Great”!
A few months later, we set off to Edinburgh and, on the last day of the holiday, our conversation came to the point I confessed my attraction for her.
We shared our first kiss.
The last day in Edinburgh was sunny and warm. As we strolled around the streets before heading back home, everything felt natural; like we had always known each other.
Four weeks later, with no planning, I proposed marriage as we lay by a lake.
She said yes, and we married exactly one year later; on the same date as our final Edinburgh day – 14th June.
That day in the office we saw something unusual happen and our relationship has never waned.
So here we are, still in love and travelling life’s journey together.
From time to time, I wake up wondering if it’s 1997 instead of 2021. After 23 years of marriage, I’d prefer life to be slower, not zipping by at the speed of light.
I made another attempt to explain love, but can we ever fully understand it?
Love is a spiritual energy, not a formula found through likes and dislikes.
Love makes us human.